Oops..

Just the other day, I came home late from my service in this particular religious organization. I was very tired and exhausted. While I was on my way home, I rode the jeepney and there were two things that added to my exhaust: the very full jeepney (I can barely sit) and the very bad air (the tambucho of the vehicles, pardon me, I forgot the English word for that).

Upon reaching home, it took a long time for our househelper to open the gate (I know she was watching TV again and just waited for the commercial before she’ll open the gate and let me in). I became more irritated by the way she welcomed me. She always judges me without even knowing where I was from. She talked to me sarcastically. She wouldn’t believe that I came home late from service. What the hell did I care as long as my parents know that I just didn’t go out and had fun with my friends but I served, but it was just so irritating. Of course I can’t fight her. My parents told me to treat our househelpers very well even if they really get to our nerves, so I didn’t bother talking to her and explaining to her, but I got more moody.

When I reached our sala, my little brother complained to me about the computer’s mouse. For him, I was the one responsible for it. That was when I really burst with madness with all my exhaustment and irritation. Why do they always assume that it is my fault when something in the computer goes wrong?!?! It doesn’t mean that when I am the one using it more often in our family, it’s my fault if the mouse isn’t working. So I shouted at my little brother, “Ambot nimo oi!!! Perme nalang ako!!! Dili baya ako ang last na naggamit ana!! GRRRRRR!!!!”, then I went immediately to my room to change.

After that, I went to my parent’s room to let them know that I already arrived. My little brother entered the room, complained about the mouse, and stared at me as if he’s going to kill me. My father was busy doing something so he didn’t notice my brother. Then our houselper called us that dinner was already served. I was the one who went to the dining room first. When my little brother entered the dining room, he was crying and my father was very angry. It was maybe because my father didn’t take notice of my brother’s problem about the mouse. My mother interrupted, “I think he’s mad at his ate. I saw him stare at her badly a while ago. I think he thinks that It’s his ate’s fault why the mouse isn’t working well.”

It was a good thing I was already in a good mood during that time. I told my mom that I shouted at my brother. Both my parents understood that I was very tired for the past few days and considered my bad mood. Still, my brother was crying and my father lost his patience over my brother’s overacting behavior. My brother cried and cried and cried. He never stopped even though we didn’t mind him anymore. After we ate, he was still at the dining table overacting. He stayed there for like, 2 hours.

I did understand why my brother did that act. Well, of course it was because of me shouting at him and the fact that he never expected it (but I promise, I just got carried away by my exhaustment and the irritation that our houselper provided me). Another thing is because my sister told him “Hala ka” after I shouted at him. I think that made it worse, and the fact that while he was crying at the table, ourfather got irritated and got mad at him.

Although the reasons are pretty much obvious and maybe true, there might be more reasons why my little brother acted that way. When we asked him why, he would not answer us. Maybe he also got irritated by my sister (who was at a good laughing mood at that time) who noticed his every wail, and maybe because of my mom who told us jokes and didn’t care if he was crying there because she knew that he was just overacting.

At some point, we were very insensitive to our dear little brother’s feelings, but it was also his fault why my mother, father, and sister did such acts (I am not included since a big part of it was my fault). There was miscommunication there. My brother wasn’t expressing himself, but he maked the matters worse, by overacting over the conflict.