An epiphany has struck me. After weeks of scrolling endlessly on TikTok, listening to podcasts, and trying to convince myself that I am not alone and that a larger force is contributing to my current circumstances, my shadow has visited me once more. This shadow, which I often detest and try to purge, is as much a part of me as it is a part of human nature, and I can’t run from it. As I write this, tears stream down my face, but I feel a sense of gratitude. Once again, I am left in awe and somehow ready to move on.
What’s that shadow, you might ask. It’s the shadow that I project onto others to tame what’s inside of me — the deeper truths I deny, the secrets I never tell anyone. Our shadows exist within all of us. We may repress them, but they almost always haunt us. Examples are our deep-seated anger, jealousy, insecurities, desires.
So, as the new age movement practitioner that I am (guilty since 2009, and despite being aware of buying into many of its BS, here I am still believing in its cause), I’ve overanalyzed most of my dilemmas. This fixation has caused me to oscillate between the positive and negative causes or effects of these problems. From one viewpoint, I know deep within myself that all our hardships are a way for us to open our vessels and prepare ourselves for better things. On the other hand, our problems might be caused by the phenomenon called the “evil eye.”
I cannot confess all my feelings in this blog post as it might create paranoia or judgement in my relationships, so I’m keeping this “shadow” of mine secret and make this blog post vague. But just to keep things transparent: I believed and maybe still believe that some people have given me the evil eye, and I know that it’s pretty unfair to them.
Whether I see credence in the spiritual evil eye phenomenon, I acknowledge the Jungian Psychology idea that it is merely a projection. Perhaps my perception that some people might be maliciously eyeing me is a way for me to protect myself: my insecurities, fears — especially of accountability and responsibility.
Thankfully, our shadow — the deep-seated aspects of our being — saves us from further illusions and demise. It comes to aid us, feigning evil intent at first, but eventually healing and correcting our delusions of grandeur.
Dismantling the Illusion
Just as I was looking for validation, something else has ruined the momentum.
Sometimes, social media algorithms, particularly TikTok, can make your brain’s neural patterns get stuck at point A. It babies you and feeds you what you like, not what you need for your growth and development as a human being.
Every video I watched certainly validated my evil eye ideas, until it didn’t. So what happened was I stumbled upon Kim Peretz’s Claim Your Power podcast. Her December 2023 episode, “Myth or Magic? My Perspective on the Evil Eye,” was an eye opener for me. Her 28-minute monologue was perfectly aligned with her advocacy in making her audience realize that we have complete control and power over our lives, and we must not succumb to external forces.
According to Peretz, “traditional evil eye beliefs disempower us. It puts us into a victim state, disabling us from changing our reality or circumstances, especially when we think that an outside force, such as a friend or a relative’s negative thoughts towards us impacted us. Believing that someone has the capability of harming you with their evil eye connects to a lack mentality.”
I could relate to what she also said about people thinking that others would be jealous of them when they become successful in life. That’s exactly one of my issues, like when something great happens, I sometimes fear that it will not last. I realize that it stems from my feeling of undeserving — something that I’ve been struggling with almost all my life.
In the podcast, Peretz reminded me that it “is in our birthright to be abundant, to be happy, to be loved, etc.,” and while my subconscious might not completely believe in that, listening to her was a first step in not giving my power away, and taking accountability in whatever happens to me — may it be good or bad.
I don’t want to spoil you the rest of Kim Peretz’s monologue because it’s worth listening, and if you can relate to me, I implore you to listen so that like myself, you can untangle the web of evil eye. Each of her words is profound, giving real and psychology-backed ideas about the phenomenon. It is truly worth your time because so much content out there would just validate our feelings, but Peretz’s episode was the perfect antidote, standing to be the most sensible amongst other “evil eye” ideas.
Conclusion
Peretz shared that she still has her evil eye necklace, but she uses it as a symbol of knowing that she’s always protected, rather than a symbol of fear that some people might give her negativity and it might affect her life. That’s a great way of putting a spiritual accessory into perspective. I actually have an evil eye keychain that I keep inside my purse. Apart from feeling protected by it, it generally makes me feel positive because I find it so pretty. I bought it at the Mystique Angels Marketplace on the second floor of Matina Town Square, and it easily caught my eye because of its beauty and whimsy.
As Peretz’s episode ended, tears fell down my face. It was my first time that someone’s podcast would be an impetus to another shadow work. As she spoke, the shadow in me was activated, making me realize that I’ve put myself in victim mentality once more, refusing to take responsibility of whatever it is that happened in my life.
I started this article months ago and just finished it today. Even as my shadow has repeatedly bedeviled me, I am a stubborn being, withholding its valuable lessons. So, I conclude this blog post with my shadow steering me to keep everything I just wrote in mind: to claim my power and not let anyone take it away from me — even by just mere thoughts.
The featured photo in this article was sourced from altnyess on Pexels, a copyright-free photo website.
